Venting at 2 am

So here I am again; it's almost 230 am and I can't sleep. There are too many thoughts in my head jumping around like baby rabbits on crack. This is a major problem. I hate that I am so pathetic. I can't even sleep. I want to, desperately, but everytime I close my eyes I see him. I should be used to it by now, it's been 3 weeks, but I still can't get over it. I miss his smell. I miss his laugh. I miss talking. Sometimes I can still feel his arms around me holding me close, keeping me safe. I wonder if it was all a lie. Was I dreaming? Did I really think I could be that happy forever? Life's funny like that, one minute you think you're on top of the world and the next that same world is falling apart. Now, you might say I'm overreacting, that I'm being too dramatic. Maybe I am. All I know for sure is that I'm laying in my bed at 230 in the morning unable to sleep even though I have to work in 5 1/2 hours because I'm afraid of what I might see when I close my eyes.